PARENTING TIPS TO RAISE HAPPY AND HEALTHY KIDS

                             STANDING UP TO BULLYING IN SCHOOLS

Bullying can be devastating for children’s confidence and self-esteem. If your child is being bullied, she will need a lot of love, guidance, and support so that she knows you are on her side and will take action to prevent any further bullying.

Here are a few strategies to help her deal with it:

1. Talking with your child about the bullying.

• Listen to your child by giving her your full attention. Ask her simple and direct questions such as “So, what happened next?” or “What did you do then?”.
• Summarize the problem to make sure you understand the whole situation. For example, “So, Chris came up, took your lunch box, and threw it  across the playground.”
• Validate our child’s feelings by saying for instance “No wonder you feel so sad about this.”
• Reassure your child it is not her fault. “It did not happen because you wear glasses. Sam might have been upset for another reason. It is no excuse though.”

2. Taking positive actions.

• Talk with your child’s classroom teacher and eventually the principal and make sure your child knows you are working on the problem.
• Explain the motivations behind a bully’s behavior. Your child needs to understand that a bully has a need for power and control over others and a desire to hurt people. They often lack empathy, sensitivity, and self-control.
• Create a list of responses your child can use to tell someone to stop bullying her. It could be “Leave me alone.” or “Back it off”. Teach your child to say these words in an assertive way.
• Role-play scenarios. Role-playing helps your child build confidence and empowers her. As a parent, you can role-play the bully while your child practices different responses until she feels confident handling these difficult situations.
• Build your child’s confidence. The better your child feels about herself, the less the bullying will affect her self-esteem. Honor your child’s strengths and encourage activities and connections that bring out the best in your child.

Helping your child deal with a bully will build confidence and prevent a difficult situation from escalating. What parents shouldn't do, no matter the child's age, is assume that this is normal peer stuff that will work itself out.