May 05th, 2017
WHY YOUR TODDLER TANTRUMS ARE BENEFICIAL
For almost any parent toddler tantrums are challenging as most of us feel overwhelmed and helpless. We also wonder how to handle our child’s kicking and screaming. However, toddler tantrums are actually an essential component of her emotional development and need to be experienced by your child when growing up.
Here are a few reasons why tantrums are indeed a good thing:
1. Crying helps release stress. When your toddler is angry, frustrated, or whining, her tears will improve her emotional well-being if a loved one is close to support her. Once the storm has passed, your child will likely be in a better mood. It is important to not interrupt the process of tantrum as it allows the child to get to the end of her feelings.
2. Setting clear boundaries is necessary. While saying no to your child may provoke the tantrum, it is indeed a good opportunity to set clear boundaries about your expectations regarding her behavior. Standing firm with your limits while offering love, empathy, and emotional support help your child understand what is acceptable and what is not.
3. Tantrums reflect how your child is feeling. When you say no, your toddler tantrum is an expression of how she feels about it. On a deeper level, your child is looking for love and connection. This is why empathizing with her emotions is so essential.
4. It may help your child sleep better. When you try to avoid tantrums, then your child does not process her emotions. As a result, just like adults, her unresolved emotions bubble up at night. Allowing your child to get to the end of her tantrum improves her overall well-being and may help her sleep better.
5. Tantrums may be healing for parents as well. Your child tantrum may trigger unconscious memories of how you were treated as a child. If no one listened to your outbursts with empathy, then your child’s upsets may kick up big feelings in you. So, dealing with your child tantrums may be an opportunity to deal with your own emotional challenges from your past.
Since it is truly difficult to handle a child tantrum, it is important to focus on self-care: talking to a friend, watching a movie, hiking, or listening to music are beneficial activities. Staying calm while listening empathetically to your child’s feelings of upset without trying to stop or fix them will help your child release them.
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As a parent and a therapist, I want to offer some tips on how to raise happy and healthy kids. Please feel free to comment on my posts.